Ahhh Carly, sing it girl!
All those crazy nights when I cried myself to sleep
Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore
'cause I haven't got time for the pain
I haven't got room for the pain
I haven't the need for the pain
Not since I've known you
Pain is a funny thing. Ok, not funny-Ha-Ha, at least not when it's happening to you. Although apparently millions of people still find other people's pain funny enough to keep watching shows like America's Funniest Home Videos, or any one of the millions of videos that have been uploaded online to YouTube, etc.
But, back to the main subject - pain, notably my experience with pain.
Pain as a reminder of our mortality becomes so much more acute as we age. I remember being asked "how does that feel on a scale of 1 to 10? with 10 being the most painful." and thinking -- well, I can only answer from my own experience, which at that point was limited. I would tend to be cautious when answering such questions, as I assumed I've never really felt a 10.
I think it was Carol Burnett who once described childbirth thusly: “Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.” Never having experienced childbirth, nor being able to fathom the pain of pulling my lip over my head -- I couldn't get it to touch my nose . . I had to assume childbirth would have to rate at least a "8" or "9" for surely there must be worse pains then childbirth, i.e. having your arm sawed off without anesthesia, being drawn and quartered, or perhaps being burnt to death would qualify as a "10." A paper cut or stubbed toe must be a "1." Maybe just a ".5".
Point being: How much could I really complain?
My most recent journey into pain began 2 years ago. It started with a ache in the shoulder that very soon moved down the arm. Tingling, shooting, making me want to cut my arm off, it wasn't long before I resembled a pretzel - with my left arm in a sling and stitches on my leg from when I dropped a casserole dish on the ground due to my weakened right arm.
After being misdiagnosed as bursitis of the shoulder, given X-rays and MRIs, cortisone shots and a number of pain medications - it was finally diagnosed as a pinched nerve. Chiropractic therapy, traction, exercise and drugs all helped and eventually I the pain eased and left my shoulder, neck and arm . . . only to travel down my spine and land on my ASS!!!
Arrrrrrrrrghhhhhh!!!!!
I can't win.
Sciatica -- or as I was to learn "psudo-sciatic pain" since it didn't originate in the spine -- but it went down the leg just the same. Pain in my muscles and lower back, hips, legs. Ahhhhh, just sitting down - something that should, in and of itself be a restful pastime, became exhausting. Just sitting at a computer became a chore - the continual hum of pain made anything beyond the most basic work impossible.
Yes, this is why I haven't written in the past few months - it just got to be too much bother.
What wasn't too much bother was ruminating on what the heck was wrong with me. Watching Mystery Diagnosis and Dr. G: Medical Examiner doesn't help. All I wanted to know was why my body suddenly decided to go all wacky. Google is great help with this.
Google is also it's own pain in the ass, because it can be so difficult weeding out the good information from the bad. With a little help from my chiropractor and a pain MD, (oh, and my doctor dad) I was finally diagnosed with myofascial pain syndrome. Myofacial pain syndrome is kissing cousins to the "F" word . . . you know, Fibromyalgia.
I'm working my ass off now to work-out this pain. Progress is being made, and I am getting used to working through this. I am even now, returning to work - writing. Setting up a way for me to write and not be on my ass so much - and can be an ASS in my writing once again!!!
