Do You Suffer from Electial Dysfunction?

Having a hard time getting numbers up at the polls?

Did your big election party night go bust?

Try New

DENYAGRA*

Deny, deny, deny throse problems away!  

Go through life like they never happened! 

Create all new problems!

*formerly known as pisco

I See Dead People (on my Facebook page!)

Ohhhhhh!!!   What to do?  What to do?

Just what is the protocol for keeping dead people on your Facebook page??? 

So, you "friend" the ill and dying, and then just sometimes the unexpected happens.  So, there you are, left with dead people on your Facebook page.  Sometimes some amazingly active dead people, but dead, just the same. 

Often, these are people I barely knew.  Never even met.  Friends of friends.   You know how it is.

The upside is, of course, that they up my friend count.  But am I that shallow?  Do I need dead people to prop me up? 

Or, am I so shallow as to de-friend someone just because they are dead???   

But, come on, it's just a bit of a downer! Each time I review my friend list there they are, reminding me that they are dead. 

Should I take this into account next time I choose to friend someone?   How likely is this person to die in the next several years?  Should I check actuarial tables? That might avoid the later hassles.

No, no, no, no. NO!

So, I'm stuck with this quandery. 

To de-friend, or not to de-friend, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
Seeing dead people give periodic updates on their "life"
Or to take arms against a sea of crazyness
And by opposing end them. To de-friend, them--
No more--and by de-friend to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to.


Medium @ Large

Thank You for Not Farting

Psst!   Hey!  All you No-Smoking types!   (This includes me)  I think I've stumbled on to a reason why your campaigns aren't working!!!   

No, it's not  because smokers can't quit/don't want to quit. 

They might stop smoking, but they want another excuse to leave the room!!!

Sure, a patch or a piece of gum might sooth their craving, but it doesn't excuse them from the room at those akward times when a person just wants to get the hell out of an uncomfortable social situation.   Today, there's nothing like excusing oneself for a cigarette break for that.   This is where the anti-smoking crowd needs to find an alternative! 

Smokers don't just need nicotine. They need an escape!!!!

At a family gathering and just can't stand to hear another argument or lecture?   The smoker needs to be given options to get out of the room.  Here are a few I've thought of:

"Excuse me, I have this thing up my nose, does anyone have a kleenex?"

"I'm on strict orders from my dentist to floss after every meal."

"I really must go out for some air,

But, of course these excuses can only be used so many times.  So, I call on the non-smoking groups; the American Lung Association, the American Cancer Society, the FDA, CDC, and any other interested party --  A new annoying habit must be created!!!   


Oh, I believe I have the vapors!!